i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
