my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
He did a backflip because drugs
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
