Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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