Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
