Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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