She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
