He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
