If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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