im drinking this country out of the recession.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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