Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
