The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I didn't notice because vodka
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
