I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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