Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize