Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
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