Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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