Michael Bay diarrhea
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
