i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
