He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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