Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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