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you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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