But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
