A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Slut skills are useful in every country.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
