If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Randomize
