I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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