i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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