Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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