Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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