So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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