She is in my trunk
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Randomize
