Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
