we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
