oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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