giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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