My first STD was from a foam party
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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