The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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