You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
