We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
