so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
