So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize