so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
