i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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