He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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