what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
