You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
