a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize