I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
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I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize