My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
