I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
