Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
