Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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