beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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