Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
