This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
