at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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