Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
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you dipped you banana in queso last night.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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