She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
