My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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