I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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