I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize