I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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